Dadinho Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Liverpool_fc#Fans Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yung Fly + Flashy Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 fwedwfcrtsdstsarwdwrwsdwfrsdadfrdssrwdaarwdsrewdwssdwrsedsfwsfwsrtsdcwstsxcsdsxsrdssdcasrdsaxczsrafssarsdsdasfrsdsafscsrfsfsfdsrsdfsrscxsdscszdsfszxzfzxszdszfszdsarswfsdsarsdsrsdfsfsdsfrfdsrfsfsftsdfszrfsfsrfsfsfdszfsdxsfdsfsrwsfgsadswtwsfstsawatrwatLMFAOLMFAOLMFAOLMFAOLMFAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eduardo da Silva Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 Liverpool fans were recently overwhelmingly voted by UEFA as the best fans in the world. They are so good, that they don't need to buy tickets to watch cup finals. Instead, they don their genuine Reebook Classique trainers, and run as fast as they can at the gates shouting Norwegian obscenities and 'Justice for the 96'.HAHAHAHAHAH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bret Hart Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 liverpool man always get murked on wiki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apache Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 ay ay , calm down la' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buc Nasty Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 Peter Crouch- 27ft striker, believed to be the bastard offspring of the Jolly Green Giant and an orphaned giraffe (both deny this). Particularly adept at basketball and dancing. Less adept at heading, tackling, trapping, scoring, passing and dribbling. Made his name playing Lurch in the Addams Family.Owned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mp* Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 The other ones a such jokes aswell Since Pleat, there has been something of a revolution, led by a potato headed Dutchman called Martin Jol. IntroductionTo start, we shall give a classic spurs fan quote "this year we'll win something...." ââ¬ÅThis team still plays, and I thought they stopped playing when I died in 1899.ââ¬Â ~ Oscar Wilde on San Antonio Spurs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Q Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 Peter Crouch- 27ft striker, believed to be the bastard offspring of the Jolly Green Giant and an orphaned giraffe (both deny this). Particularly adept at basketball and dancing. Less adept at heading, tackling, trapping, scoring, passing and dribbling. Made his name playing Lurch in the Addams Family.OwnedLol that was bait written after he duppied arsenal with THE PERFECT HAT TRICK.Lol whole thing is jokes still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eduardo da Silva Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 IntroductionTo start, we shall give a classic spurs fan quote "this year we'll win something...."LMAOHow f*cking true is that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Q Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Londr%C3%A9s ControversyLondres were the first football team to invent their own offside rule. This confuses the other teams and results in many a Londres victory. Thierry Henry was the basis for this new rule, and whenever he is injured Londres have trouble scoring due to his absence, as they cannot play the Highbury Offside rule. (see fig.1)Londres were often critizied for the lack of English players in the squad, this was changed in 2002 when Londres played a team that lacked any foreigners at all. In fact the team was not comprised of any players from earth and consisted of a starting 11 made up of aliens, clones and robots. this team would go on to win the league, the FA Cup, and the intergalactic cup beating FC Mars in the final at the Jupiter Millenium Stadium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Infamous Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 Soccer moves invented by Chel$ki Abramograd FC Dying Swan dive (Drogba) Stop, Drop and Cry like a girl (Robben) Wear salad dressing on their head (Robben) Fall Over when touched (Robben) Fall Over when not touched (Drogba) Fall Over at the sight of defenders ready to tackle (Robben, Drogba) Double-Team dive (where Drogba and Robben fall down together) Saying Barcelona are cheating Elastico dive (where you pretend to dive left, but instead dive right) Pinball shot (Lampard) How high do you want the net special (Lampard) Burger eating contest (Lampard) Fighting Cesc Fabregas (Lampard) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Infamous Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 1. Petr Cech: Petr is still 'messed up' after Cashley suggested a 'dogging' session one evening. Petr took along his Spaniel, which Cashley was delighted about. Petr was welcomed into the world of 'Man Love' by Cashley, a vibrating Mobile Phone and his Spaniel. This upset Petr so much that he now has to wear a padded helmet for when he bounces his head off the walls to rid himself of those shocking images, that night on Hampstead Heath! 3. Cashley Cole: Cashley Cole is in fact Joe Cole's long lost brother, which means that Joe Cole is actually an albino whose ancestors descended from South America (which explains why he's the only white English player who can dribble). Cashley sold his soul to a guy in a gimp suit (Mourinho) after he was "Left Back" at Highbury, while the rest of Londrés moved to Emirates stadium. Loves nothing more than a Nokia switched to vibrate rammed up his Gary the dirty git. 4. Claude Ukelele: Claude is a Private Investigator when he is not playing football and has a varied collection of Hawaiian shirts. He is also a slave to Raymond Domenech, as he is constantly being called to the French squad, even after he has bought his freedom.5. Michael Essien: Came to England with a grudge against knees. Nearly killed Didi Hamann and Talal Ben Haim before realising the error of his ways. Essien uses a special technique learnt from the Waterboy movie, in which Mourinho says "Hey the whole other team banged your mum Michael, you gonna let them get away with it?". Prototype in Abramovich's evil scheme to create a super race of cyborg footballers. Doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and absolutely will not stop. Ever. 6. Ricardo Carvalho: Apparently Portuguese, despite his scruffy French appearance & smell. Tends to enjoy trying to rip oppositions' shirts off. Played Captain Darling in the popular British sitcom, 'Blackadder Goes Forth' 7. Andriy Shevchenko: Ukrainian striker who is Roman's bitch. His prolific strike rate in English football is only bettered by Sir Peter Beardsley and Paul Robinson. Andriy spends a lot of time with Didhedive Drogba and rumours circulating around the Russian club is that Andriy is expecting Didhedive's child sometime in 2010.8. Frank Lamb-pie: Master of the pie eating contest that is often held along the Fulham Road. A hole was recently blasted in the corner of Stamford Bridge in order to get his forklift in. Was once fined 1 million pounds by Jose for turning up at training in a comedy sumo suit! Well Jose thought it was! 9. Khalid Boulahrouz: Former rapist and drug addict (being dutch and all) Boulahrouz has lots of pent up aggression, which is evident in his wild "tackling" (more like aggravated assault & buggery). When he is not training he sits at home all day masturbating, all day, just rub, rub, rub. (hahahaha)10. Joe Cole: Cheeky Chappy Joe is a real man's man and tops up his earnings by being a Soho rent boy. Joe, when playing football, can be a real match winner. When he isn't being a footballer or a rent boy he whiles away his time trying to chat up models and then being beaten by their boyfriends. He's the first of the contestants from the game show "I'm a mong give me job" to find fame and fortune in football. 11. Didhedive Drogba: Gay Ivorian, with really sh*t hair, who adapted to English football at a similar rate to Shevchenko. Drogba sold his soul to Santa (thats right, Santa) to get a pair of magical boots that miraculously makes all his shots this season lethal. Goes down quicker than Wayne Rooney in an old people's home.12. John Obi Mikel: Son of Wan Kenobi, John shunned a life of trying to destroy the death star to become a footballer and so went to the home of football Norway. Played for a woman's team, Lyn Oslo, and then signed for Man Utd. Chelsea then offered him lots of money and threatened him with a Night with Kalid Boulharouz, so John told Utd he didn't want to play for them and joined Chel$ki. Utd pocketed 16 Million quid from the deal and went and bought Michael Carrick. Both players are sh*t so no-one benefitted from the deal really. Except for FC Lyn, of course, no longer annoyed with Obi Mikels mafia friends. 13. Michael Ballack: German cocksucking Midfielder. Ballack was the darling of German football until he joined the 'Fat Frank' diet club and put on almost 32 stone. In his dispair he turned to drugs and is now addicted to immodium plus and night nurse. Was once found guilty of raping the head of a lame donkey in Innesbruk.14. Geremi: One of the 'unlucky ones' whose job is to warm the bench for the rest of the prima donnas. Played in the North-East for a while but could not distinguish the women from the blokes and decided to move to London and now resides in Moscow, close to all amenities16. Arjen Robben: Former Olympic Diving Champion. Rumour has it he was disqualified for lying about his age (23? Yeah right).18. Wayne "Stamford" Bridge: Has no right to be on Chel$ki's left flank on account that his surname isn't Cole. One of Roman's first buys. Only God knows why he bought him.20. Paulo Ferreira: The forgotten defender. Once called the best defender in the world by Mourinho, which was a really good joke at parties. 23. Carlo Cudicini: Second choice keeper. Once considered for England squad, before the FA realised it was a stupid idea, English citizenship or not.24. Shaun Wright-Phillips: Has tragically disappeared from everything. Once England's replacement for David Beckham, now England's replacement for Aaron Lennon. Shrunk by the Subbuteo Foundation in stature.26. Juan Terrie: The other half of the 'good' Chel$ki team. With him, Chel$ki let in one goal every 54 games. Without him, that figure is somewhere near 4 goals every 0.5 games. Also possesses kamikaze bravery, as seen in the 2007 Snarling Cup final when he headbutted Abou Diaby's foot, almost breaking it.dsjfhdugufdhgfjfgljokgfjopkghjHAHAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Infamous Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 These are examples of how a typical transfer occurs within Chel$ki: [edit] Typical Transfer no. 1Mourinho: Hmm...that player that I saw the other day, lets buy him. Russian Mafia Spy: That was a documentary on Franz Beckenbauer, the West German football legend. Mourinho: Yeah, yeah spare me the details, offer him some cash so he will play for us. Russian Mafia Spy: He retired from football like 30 years ago...I doubt he will be for sale Mourinho: In that case, lets buy another German that begins with a B. Russian Mafia Spy: Hmm...Ballack? Mourinho: Sure, whatever, what have we got to lose anyway? Money? (laughs insanely) Russian Mafia Spy: (laughs maniacally) Good one. [edit] Typical Transfer no. 2Mourinho: I received some shocking news yesterday. Apparently we are not at the top of the tables in the Premiership? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN! Russian Mafia Spy: Its been like this the whole season, Greys Athletic were on top since the beginning... Mourinho: WHAT!? Why was I not aware of this? Russian Mafia Spy: Erm...I can think of several reasons, but thats not the point, we need to solve this problem. Mourinho: Hmmm this should be simple, lemme just check my Football Manager 07 on my PC and see which players are the most valuable...lets see...Rooney? Nah he will f*ck all the 'Chelsea Pensioners'. Messi? Nah silly name. Hey check this guy out, Salomon Kalou is rated quite high! Lets buy this player! Russian Mafia Spy: ...Hes on our team already... Mourinho: Fine then... I'll check some good players from the last few seasons... What about this guy? Russian Mafia Spy: Erm... how long ago have you gone back?!? Jurgen Klinsmann is from ages ago! He just retired from coach of Germany! Mourinho: Oh. Shevchenko: Lets buy Kaká, I played with him in AC Milan and I think he is a great player. Russian Mafia Advisor: Or, how about we get someone who is 10 years older. Either that or we buy a Cole. Mourinho: I like your thinking Oudya Nickabollockov! Hmmm what about this Pelé fellow? Everyone: *silence* Typical Transfer no. 3Abramovich: Alright Mourinho, you've lost the Premiership and the Champions League, so next season I expect a better performance from the team. Basically what I mean is if you give me a rim job I'll inject more funds for your transfers next season. Special Juan: But Roman, the grass is only greener on the other side if the gardener on that side is better than the gardener on your side. Abramovich: ...wait, what? Special Juan: If you want your pants up after you're done on the toilet, you must pull them up yourself, unless you trained your dog to do it for you. Abramovich: Y'Wotfudd??? Stop playing these mind games with me Jose! Listen, my funds are limited this year, I think its time to sell a few of your unused players and get some cash back instead of just leeching off me. Special Juan: But that's the difference, because the Special Juan won't compromise on his integrity to enforce a subjugated anomaly for the betterment of social causes such as racism and bigotry between the undereducated feminist chauvinist pigs. That is why I need money to buy another near fossilized player...I'm thinking maybe Ronaldo, Nedved or Scholl? Abramovich: Well....um....you make a very persuasive argument, how about I'll let you buy all three if you give me that rim job? Special Juan: No problem! Wait, whats a rim job? Abramovich: You'll see... *wink* HAHAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yung Fly + Flashy Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 lol @ only trying 2 draw for chelsea u p*ssyalso notice no-one's laughing @ ur pathetiuc attempt to slew you retatrded prick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Libertine Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 There are about three hundred and twenty five strikers at the West Ham, none of them capable of scoring goals and each one of them useless in their own special way. They include Carlos Tevez, Teddy Sheringham, and the worst of all the two hundred footballers called 'HareCole', a giant black man who has immense strength and speed but incidentally destroys all those around him when he kicks a ballLMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Infamous Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 lol @ only trying 2 draw for chelsea u p*ssyalso notice no-one's laughing @ ur pathetiuc attempt to slew you retatrded prickGo talk to your real rival you slipped through my radar you glory hunting rent boy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vegeta Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 lmao: spurs:http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/San_Antonio_Spursarsenal:http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Londr%C3%A9s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Younger Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 lol @ CSKA Chelsea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L Posted July 18, 2007 Report Share Posted July 18, 2007 The highbury offside rule gives me joke every time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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